


The World Has Developed A Sick Habit Of Making My Worst Nightmares A Reality So I've Taken The Libery Of Just Not Thinking Anymore

by I_am_very_not_aight



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ash Lynx Swears, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bones' name is Miles for some reason, Getting Raped In Your School Changing Room Is Going To Seriously Fuck You Up For A While, I Was High When I Wrote This, I would neverrrrrrrrrrrrr, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, I'm in paaaaaiin, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kong Is a Good Friend (Banana Fish), Like, M/M, Max Lobo Is Ash Lynx's Parent, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Penetration, Non-Consensual Touching, Okumura Eiji Loves Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Okumura Eiji Whump, POV Third Person, Parental Ibe Shunichi, Parental Max Lobo, Petition To Kill Arthur, Pining Ash Lynx, Rape Recovery, Shorter Wong Is a Good Friend, Sing Soo-Ling Is a Good Kid, The Author - Freeform, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Trauma, Underage Rape/Non-con, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, What Have I Done, a g a i n, as expected, idfk, no beta we die like ash lynx, not me, ooh no, pushing unnecessary trauma onto my favourite characters for virtually no reason, s e r i o u s l y
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:47:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_very_not_aight/pseuds/I_am_very_not_aight
Summary: Eiji Okumura is a young Japanese transfer student who somehow managed to befriend his High school's resident band of delinquents, much to the surprise of everyone who has met the boy for more then five minutes. He had always felt oddly out of place with all of them though, despite how much they all insisted he belonged, since he didn't fit in with their whole "we're all traumatized to shit" group thing they all had in common.You should be more careful of what you wish for
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Bones & Kong (Banana Fish), Ibe Shunichi & Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Okumura Eiji, Max Lobo & Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji & Bones (Banana Fish), Okumura Eiji & Kong (Banana Fish), Okumura Eiji & Okumura Eiji's Sister, Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji & Sing Soo-Ling
Comments: 39
Kudos: 128





	1. I'll Show You What It Means To Be A Main Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Vaugely based on events that happend to me and my friend]
> 
> I love feedback, your kudos and comments are appreciated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this, I only know how to cope by putting my favourite characters into traumatic situations

Have you ever thought about things that you know happen in the world, every day, and you know it could happen to anyone but you never think it would happen to you? Things like getting mugged or being diagnosed with cancer, you know these things happen but you don't imagine it would ever happen to you. Or if you do think that, you think you will a victim of these horrible things, but you don't know how it will affect you.

You can imagine, anyone can, but you don't really know. You may think that faced with an armed man trying to rob you, you would kick them and run away or maybe just comply, but we don't really know. We don't know until we're right there in the moment. You could think that you would reach for your pepper spray, but when actually faced with that decision you could freeze up. We can never know until it happens.

Eiji was the type of person who thought these things would never happen to him.

He obviously knew it happened, he personally knew victims of those sort of things, but he never imagined himself in their place. Well, that wasn't completely true, he had thought about it a few times but his mind can't really capture the cruelness of reality.

Eiji Okumura was a Japanese transfer student in his first year at an American high school, living with his godfather and younger sister due to their parents passing, and ran on the track and field team. He has also somehow managed to befriend a group of delinquents and a pretentious rich boy who all manage to both get him into situations and also out of them.

Eiji had thought, only for a moment when his mind was reeling at the time, that maybe this wouldn't have happened if he wasn't close with them.

He never blamed any of them, though. Eiji truly believed that he, if he were friends with anyone else in his school, wouldn't have been as happy with anyone else and much preferred the people he had. He wouldn't trade them for the world. He did, however, find that it was almost funny that, after a long time feeling as though he did not belong in their "gang", something like this would act as some sort of initiation.

You must be wondering, what happened to our good ol' Eiji? Well...

It was a Thursday, Eiji and another track team teammate, James, had stayed back after the end of their meet to help their coach and were now alone in the change room together. James had finished getting dressed before Eiji and was hovering at the door, watching the Japanese boy in amusement as he struggled to untie his shoes.

"Did you want to walk together?" James asked, almost laughing as Eiji tried even more aggressively to get his laces undone.

"No, I am fine, I might also be here for a while," Eiji says, barely glancing at the other boy and glaring at his shoes that just did not want to come off. 

James fully laughed at that. "Do you need help?" 

"I will manage, you can go, thank you," Eiji said kindly, just continuing to struggle.

"Haha, okay, see you Monday," James chuckled, waving as he left.

Five minutes later, Eiji finally managed to get his shoes off, took off his shirt and pants, and was about to change into his other pants when he heard the change room door open.

"Did you forget-?" Eiji turned to the door, expecting to see James, forgetting his phone or something, but was caught off guard by who was actually there. Frederick Arthur. Star football player, stupid unnaturally yellow hair, and a huge grudge against Eiji's friends that he didn't understand. 

Lucky for Eiji- _or maybe unluckily_ -Arthur didn't seem to hate him, just the people he hung out with, so the two of them weren't on the verge of a fistfight whenever they were around each other which cannot be said the same for the rest of his friends.

Arthur had an odd glint in his eyes as he stalked forward.

"What are you doing here?" Eiji asked, turning away from him and desperately trying to keep his voice even.

"Football practice ran late today," Arthur said, as if it were obvious. Eiji glanced back at him and noted that the boy was wearing his normal clothes, also obviously lying since Eiji knew football only practiced on Wednesdays and Fridays, he wisely didn't comment.

"You are supposed to use the other changing rooms," Eiji said, growing tenser as Arthur drew closer to him, now almost leaning over him, making Eiji extremely uncomfortable as he was much shorter and only in his boxers.

"I know," Arthur answered, an almost teasing tone.

"W-what are you doing here?" Eiji asked, silently cursing himself for stuttering. 

"Your little friends aren't here to help you," Arthur practically purred, shutting Eiji's locker and leaning against it, effectively pinning the smaller boy.

> **_(You probably know where this is going, don't continue reading if you cannot handle this sort of thing, warnings are for a reason)_ **

Eiji's breath hitched as Arthur grabbed his face and roughly kissed him, he tried to struggle against him but the boy's hold was too strong. Eiji attempted to kick upwards, trying to catch Arthur's shin or groin and escape but was blocked by the other putting his knee into Eiji's thigh and pinning it. He gasped when Arthur pulled away, struggling a little harder now that his face wasn't connected to another.

"Let go!" He yelled tugging extra hard on where Arthur had his hands pinned to the side, but still unsuccessful.

"Awe, don't be like that," Arthur cooed, pressing his face into Eiji's neck and littering it with sloppy, forceful kisses as he was still struggling.

It was hot and gross. Eiji was already uncomfortable since he was practically naked and hadn't showered yet, but Arthur's body pressed up so close to his and saliva wet against his skin was just made him feel another level of unclean and stuffy. Arthur slowly moved the both of them to the floor, still keeping a firm grip on the boy under him, and continued roughly kiss his neck. 

Eiji started to really panic as he was pinned to the ground, looking around frantically and eyes landing on his phone on the floor next to him. _'When did that fall out?'_ Eiji thought to himself.

Arthur seemed to realize that Eiji had his attention drawn to something else, and spotted the phone. He smirked and shifted his weight and hold on to the boy so he could grab it, pop the back off, taking the battery out, snapping it in half, and throwing it off to the side. Eiji would have almost felt grateful that Arthur didn't just snap his phone entirely, instead of just the battery, if it weren't for the rest of the situation.

"Don't even think about it," Arthur nearly hissed, leaning down and blowing in Eiji's ear, kissing his jaw.

"Let me go!" Eiji shouted again, getting more and more panicked as this went on.

Arthur practically laughed at him, shaking his head. "Oh, but I haven't had any real fun with you,"

Eiji froze, tensing at the boy's words. _'This is happening'_ he thought. _'This is really happening, to me, alone, with no one to help me'_

He let out a small whimper. "Please..." Eiji could feel tears of desperation welling up in his eyes and Arthur looked almost proud of himself. _Disgusting_.

"I'll let you go soon enough," Arthur said, grinning down at him as if he got off by the fear and struggle. He took off his belt, fumbling slightly since he was only using one hand, and used it to bind Eiji's hands over his head, attaching him to one of the benches in the middle of the room. 

"Please don't," Eiji choked out, fighting against his tears and new bindings. 

"Oh, don't worry," Arthur assured, still with a sinister smile. "I'll be gentle," he said, pulling his pants down just enough to take out his cock.

Eiji watched this and thought, only for a second, that his penis looked comically small compared to the size of the rest of his body but quickly shook away that thought as he pushed himself and desperately tried to get as far away from the boy as he possibly could. Arthur watched his poor attempt at a retreat in amusement, stalking towards Eiji menacingly. Eiji pressed himself as hard as he could against the bench, still trying to fight back his tears.

"No, please- you don't need to- I can-" Eiji was cut off as Arthur finally reached him and decided to just shove his dick in his mouth. Eiji choked, caught off guard, and tried to pull back but his head was held in place by Arthur who had one hand on the back of his head and one on his jaw, ensuring Eiji couldn't bite down properly. Despite Arthur's lackluster penis size, it still effectively filled Eiji's mouth as he attempted to reject it, at this point giving up on trying to force his tears from coming out and just letting them fall.

After roughly ten minutes of struggling to breathe and weakly fighting back against Arthur who just used his face as a problematic fleshlight, Eiji felt a hot, disgusting, and thick liquid fill his mouth. He gagged as it shot to the back of his throat and when Arthur slowly pulled his dick out of his mouth, Eiji went to spit but was stopped by the other boy grabbing his jaw and forcing his mouth shut.

"Swallow it," Arthur demanded, voice harsh. Eiji looked up at him defiantly and shook his head prompting Arthur to squeeze his jaw uncomfortably harder and glaring. "Do it." He spat. Eiji, seeing no other way out, painstakingly swallowed the bitter cum and when Arthur released his face, looking satisfied, he fell into a coughing fit.

"Don't die on me yet _Samurai boy_ ," Arthur coos. "I'm not done with you," 

Eiji looked at him, confused and frustrated. _'Not done with me? What more does he want?'_ He thought bitterly but quickly understood when Arthur grabbed him by his hips and moved to tug his boxers. Eiji frantically closed his legs and kept them pressed together as tight as he could to stop him.

"N-no-!" Eiji choked out, cutting himself off as he was roughly grabbed and Arthur pried his legs apart, skipping the niceties and just opting to rip Eiji's underwear to get them off. The Japanese boy tried to kick him again, push him back, but Arthur had pinned his legs down, putting a knee into both of the boys' thighs and effectively straddling him as well.

"Look at you~" Arthur crooned, running a hand from the base of Eiji's neck and down his torso, stopping halfway there to tickle his sides and watch him squirm.

Eiji no longer had a voice to beg with, he just kept his eyes screwed shut and thought desperately that this would end, someone would come to help him, or Arthur would just get bored. He wasn't that lucky though.

Arthur's hands continued their journey downwards and paused a second time to playfully stroke Eiji's dick a few times. If he didn't want to throw up before, Eiji definitely did now. These things should not happen this way, they shouldn't be taken. Sex was an intimate and loving thing that should be special for both parties, it is not something you get greedy about and just take from others without asking. Arthur's hands continued further down finally arriving down at Eiji's ass and asshole.

"Hmm, I bet you're a virgin, aren't you?" That wasn't a question, despite Arthur phrasing it that way, and Eiji just layed there. He hadn't thought his first time would be this way. When he imagined intimate touches and this closeness, it was special. He would have a girl _(or boy, he still wasn't sure of his sexuality)_ and they would hold each other, kiss each other, touch each other, love each other, and feel good together. Eiji did not feel good right now and he knew that he would never be able to think of these touches again without this horrible experience coming to mind. He let tears fall down his face again.

Arthur passed a few fingers over Eiji's hole before leaning down and spitting. _(spitting on him! Eiji was incredulous at this point)_ Eiji cringed as the saliva landed on his skin, not even where it was supposed to, and Arthur dragged it to the rim, spreading it around and using the spit as a lubricant before unpromptedly shoving two fingers inside.

Eiji let out a strangled, painful, and surprised cry and tried to tug his legs free again. Tears blurred his vision but Eiji will never forget that smile on Arthur's face at his reaction, as if proud of himself. Eiji couldn't do this anymore. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, if he stopped struggling and just let it happen, it wouldn't be so bad. He would just endure it and get this over with as quickly as possible, but he couldn't. The moment Arthur's fingers went inside him a flip switched and Eiji just couldn't. It hurt and he wasn't prepared for that, he wasn't going to be able to handle this so his best option was to desperately try and get away, which did him no favors.

Eiji thought bitterly, almost amused, to himself again about how _'if this was gentle then rough probably ended with one of them dying'_ but that thought didn't last as Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lube. His next thought was _'if this twisted mother fucker had lube, what did he spit on me for'_ but Eiji didn't get to be amused by his thoughts for very long as he watched Arthur put the lubricant on his fingers before promptly shoving them back into him.

Eiji let out another strangled groan at that, it hurt a little less this time but it didn't make it any less unpleasant. Arthur played around inside Eiji for a short while before he hummed and took his fingers out, as if he were contemplating what to do next with him. 

"This should be fine," Arthur said, quickly covering his cock with lube and pressing it against Eiji's hole, grinning evily. "You ready?"

"N-no-!" Eiji sobbed, but that didn't matter when Arthur shoved his dick inside. His struggling didn't matter. His crying didn't matter. Nothing he said mattered. How much he thought, silently begging ' _no_ _no_ _no_ _no_ _no_ _no_ , _stop_ , _no_ _no_ , _please_ , _it_ _hurts_ , _no_ ' didn't matter. Arthur was there to take and take from him is exactly what he did.

At this point, Eiji had "checked out" of the situation. What happened next wasn't very clear in his mind since he got lost in his head after that. He vaguely registered Arthur pounding into him and being pushed harder and harder into the benches but he was just... out of it.

Eiji thought that this must be what people said disassociating was.

He never understood it before but he felt like he did now. He didn't know if he was even thinking in that moment, if he was really even in his body since he felt as though he was disconnected from everything whenever he thought back to it.

Arthur stopped eventually, he took his belt back, and possibly even said something too before he left. But Eiji wasn't there. He was vaguely floating around and hoping 5hat maybe this was just some sort of dream.

It wasn't though, of course it wasn't.

When Eiji finally returned to his body, the first thing he registered was the ache in his body. He sat up and his body burned in protest to movement. The next thing he noticed was the passing of time and eerie silence, Eiji must have laid there for hours before moving.

He was numb as he picked up his phone, now significantly lighter without the battery in it, and standing up. He was numb as he put his clothes on. Numb as he grabbed his bag and left the changing rooms and found that it was dark outside, even more, telling of how much time had passed. Numb as he walked home, past all the stores and houses that look innocent in a normal route home, but distorted as the background in the image of a boy taking the walk of shame home after being raped. Numb as he exchanged a few words with his neighbors. Numb as he unlocked his front door and entered his house. Numb as he looked around his living room, completely dark, and just staying there for a long while. The feeling started wavering as he was just about to go upstairs to the bathroom and then do bed and a light turned on on the second floor, filling the staircase with light. 

There was slight stomping as someone made their way halfway down the stairs and pausing and paused, looking at Eiji. Eiji saw his sister but she most likely didn't see him very well, which he was thankful for.

"Ni-chan? That's you?" She asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Yes, it's me," Eiji responded, cursing himself internally, hating how hoarse and sick his voice sounded.

Mika tilted her head again, this time to the other side. "You are late," she said, looking at a clock that Eiji couldn't quite see but was sure read as some time past nine. "Are you okay?"

Eiji nodded, despite his sister barely being able to see him. "I am fine," cringing again at the sound of his voice. Mika reached out to turn on the light and Eiji panicked.

"No don't!" He yelled, almost lunging at her. She immediately froze and looked at him with a shocked, confused, and concerned face. He desperately thought for an excuse. "Uh, my head hurts, the light will hurt my eyes, let us go to bed," he said.

Mika hesitated but nodded slowly. "We will talk tomorrow?" She questioned.

Eiji nodded."We can talk tomorrow,"

She nodded again, turning back upstairs, going to turn off the light, and then going to her bedroom. Eiji was left alone and went on auto-pilot mode. He droned to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, glad his sister didn't see him in this state, being too lazy to do anything in there, going to his bedroom, and almost being too out of it to change into his pajamas. Almost doesn't mean he did it to its completion since all he did was change his pants, and then lay in his bed. 

He lied in his bed and finally wasn't numb anymore.

Eiji felt again and felt everything. The numb shock that clouded his mind was gone and everything was right there in the bed with him. It wasn't just an ache in his body, it was real, hard pain that made him want to cry out as he moved in any way. The still quiet was still there, but it was miraculously all too loud and wild at the same time. This wasn't going to go away, he was going to see it at school the next day and every day, out when he was hanging out with his friends, and in the mirror of his own house because it was Eiji. This was going to change him. It was all too overwhelming and just took over Eiji's entire body. He did not make it to sleep.

He wept until tears stopped coming out and just continued weeping anyway until the sun shone in his window. It was Friday and on Friday there is _**school**_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written rape/non-con before and I never read it either so I'm sorry if it's bad or inaccurate.
> 
> I also wrote half of this while high (try and guess which parts those were, lol) so I'm sorry if that also effects this.
> 
> This is the only time something like this happens in the story so don't worry about more hurt, the rest of the fic will be Eiji dealing with the recovery of this trauma and opening up to the people around him. Thats the plan anyway, it might change later just cause I'm a bitch and love hurting myself like this.


	2. Feeling Dirty, Trying To Feel Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [References to the previous chapter]

Eiji did end up falling asleep that day eventually, but not for very long as Ibe came into his room to wake him up for school. 

"Ei-chan, you're usually awake by now," he said from the doorway.

Eiji pulled his blanket over his head and winced at the movement, 'when did he get home?' he thought, knowing Ibe would have gotten back after him, or else he would have been there when Eiji got home the night before. 

"Ei-chan? Are you awake?" Ibe called, entering the room further.

"I'm not going," Eiji croaked, his voice even worse than before when he talked to his sister and he swallowed his own bile.

"Huh? You don't sound too good, are you alright?" Ibe asked, sounding concerned.

"I'm fine," Eiji said with what he intended to have a bite, but just sounded weak, even in his ears. Ibe hesitated, obviously wanting to push the situation, but he didn't.

"Okay, you don't need to go to school, but only because you have never missed before," Ibe said, sounding so kind it almost made Eiji sick at that moment. "But if you plan on doing it again then I expect an explanation," he said before leaving, gently closing the door behind him.

Eiji listened to the hum of the world around him for the next hour after that. The sound of Ibe and his sister getting ready to leave for work/school, cars driving by outside, someone going on a morning run, the birds chirping, kids playing, and one person mowing their lawn. The shuffling outside his door and the sound of Mika and Ibe talking kept Eiji from dosing off. When he heard the front door open and close again, signaling that Ibe and his sister had left for work and school, it all went quiet again.

The sounds outside seemed to disappear and there was nothing in the house to make noise except Eiji himself. That was almost worse than before, the only sounds he could hear were his breathing and the churning of his stomach, it was maddening. His original plan to fall back to sleep didn't work, he just laid there for another hour with no luck before finally resigning to getting up and going to the washroom, just now realizing he hadn't used it the night before.

The process of actually getting there, though, was a painful and slow one.

Eiji's legs _hurt_. His arms _hurt_. His back _hurt_. His whole body _hurt_. It hurt to _breathe_. It hurt to wear the clothes on his back. It hurt to shift his covers off. It hurt to roll out of bed. It hurt to stand. It hurt to walk across his room. It hurt to turn his door handle. It hurt to walk down the hallway to the washroom. It hurt to flick the lights on. It hurt to lean against the sink. _It hurt to look at himself through the mirror in front of him._

The night before, Eiji hadn't looked at himself. He had gone to the bathroom and registered that he looked like shit, but he didn't really have a good look at himself. Now, leaning heavily on the counter to keep from collapsing, Eiji had nothing else to do but to stare back at himself. He looked exhausted, understandably so since he hadn't really slept, but the dark eye bags didn't quite fit his face right.

_But neither did any of the other marks on his skin._

There were marks where the belt had been tied around his wrists, looking harsh against his relatively pale skin. There were dark marks all over his neck and shoulders, hickeys just left there carelessly and disgusting to look at. Also on his neck was a large blotchy red mark, similar to what was on his wrists. _'When did he choke me?'_ he thought. He didn't remember most of the last part of what happened, but Eiji had thought he would have remembered if his throat had been grabbed. He wanted to reach up and touch them, but his arms and hands were busy desperately hanging onto the sink countertop to keep his legs from giving out underneath him.

All of these marks were just... a part of him.

Eiji was finally properly registering it, what happened. He wasn't able to disconnect himself from the situation anymore. It was his body. His body that he used to run on his track team. His body that he used to hug his family with. His body that he used to laugh with his friends. His body that he used to live. His body that he uses every day for everything because it was him. His body that was taken, pushed to the ground, tied, and defiled in his school's locker room. His body that was covered in ugly marks because of that. His body that he couldn't escape no matter how much he wanted to.

Eiji didn't even try to stop himself anymore as his knees finally gave way and he fell to the ground. He barely managed to crawl over to his toilet before throwing up. Tears streamed down his face as stomach acid burned his throat, puking his guts out, heaving and gagging long after anything stopped coming up. He leaned heavily against the toilet bowl, sobbing and gasping for air, gagging and bringing up nothing out of his newly emptied stomach. Eiji stayed there for a long while, slowly calming down until he was just there, hovering over a bowl full of his vomit and breathing heavily, even more exhausted the before.

His body, something Eiji used to cherish, was now just a disgusting husk on the floor and new friends with the toilet. He slowly got up, going into their medicine cabinet, taking painkillers, and hobbled away back to his bed, passing out almost instantaneously.

When Eiji woke up again, it was to the sound of the front door opening and closing, loud enough to reach him in his room and stir him out of his sleep. He groaned, stretching as he got out of bed. His body still hurt, but it wasn't quite as bad as earlier, and he went to reach for his phone. He then paused since it wasn't where it normally sat on his bedstand. Then he remembered that he never took his phone out of his bag last night and that it didn't have a battery anyway. He sighed before then reaching to grab a sweater off the back of a chair next to his bedstand, a yellow hoodie that Shorter had lent him one day and just never asked for it back meaning Eiji always forgot about it. Ash and Yut-Lung had both always gave him similar, yet very different, looks when they noticed he wore that sweater. Ash always looked a little more irritable and Yut-Lung looked smug, Eiji never knew why and Sing and Shorter pretended to never notice.

He hesitated before picking it up, though. He still felt unclean and that he shouldn't touch something important to him while he was contaminated. It was the only article of clothing he had that suited his purpose so he resigned to putting it on with the intention of washing it as soon as he took it off. Eiji slipped it on, flipped up the hood, and pulled the drawstrings so the only thing that was out was the smallest amount of his face that he could manage while also keeping his mouth and eyes out. He then opened his door to make his way downstairs.

Eiji jumped when, after swinging his door open, Ibe was already standing there with a cup of tea and looking almost equally startled.

"Ei-chan," Shunichi greeted softly, offering him the cup of tea, which Eiji accepted. "You're up, are you feeling any better?" 

Eiji nods, staring at the ground, not meeting the man's eyes, and taking a sip of his tea. "A little," he mumbled, still hating the grogginess and raw sound of his voice. "Are you back early?" He asked, this time looking up to gauge the other's reaction.

Ibe looked at him with a crooked smile. "You just woke up," he states in amusement instead of answering the question. "It's seven-thirty, I normally get home at this time,"

"Oh," Eiji says numbly before furrowing his brows. "Where's Mika?"

"She went to her friend Hannah's for an impromptu sleepover," Ibe says, chuckling lightly. "She said she didn't want to be in the house where 'Ni-chan germs' could infect her,"

Eiji allowed a small smile to slip on for a second before nodding and taking another sip of tea. "Ni-chan germs will still be here when she gets back though," he says, almost laughing.

"I told her that but she doesn't seem too worried, I think she just wants an excuse to be at her friend's," Ibe says, chuckling again. 

"Ah," Eiji hums, nodding before drinking more of the tea.

"You know, I ran into a few of your friends today," Ibe mentions offhandedly. Eiji immediately tensed at the sentence and if the other noticed, he graciously didn't comment. "The one with the purple hair and the rest of your Chinese friends." Eiji just nodded stiffly in response as a gesture of saying 'yes, I know who you're talking about' in some way.

"They seemed worried, you know, since you never miss school," Ibe said gently, almost encouraging. "You should text them, let them know you're alright,"

"I can't," Eiji says without thinking and Ibe gives him a quizzing look.

"You can't?" He repeated, cocking a brow. "Did something happen between you guys-?" Eiji cuts him off with a shake of his head.

"No, I need a new phone battery," he says quietly, almost ashamed.

"A charger?" Ibe corrected in question and Eiji shook his head again.

"No, the actual battery, I.... lost mine somehow," Eiji sounded suspicious in his own ears, but it was too late to take it back now. Shunichi didn't look satisfied with 'lost it somehow' but he didn't ask for anymore explication, which Eiji was very thankful for.

"Alright..." Ibe said after a moment, nodding his head. "Do you want me to go out and buy a replacement now, or can you wait until tomorrow and I can get a battery on my way home from work?" He asked gently.

"I can wait," Eiji says with a shrug. The longer he can avoid his friends, the better.

"Okay," Ibe responds, nodding even more. "Did you want me to make you something to eat or are you going to go back to bed?"

Eiji sighed, suddenly feeling way too hot to be wearing an oversized sweatshirt right now. "I'm going to try and sleep more, I'm very tired," 

Ibe nodded and turned to leave and Eiji stood in the doorway with his tea for a few more seconds before moving to go back to bed. He paused though when he heard Ibe make a startled noise in the other room. He sighed, placed the cup on his bedside table, before then going back to the door and peeking his head out to see what was up. Ibe was standing in the bathroom with the door open and already looking back at Eiji with way more concern than he had been moments prior.

"Are you sure you're alright? You're not hungry?" Ibe called down the hall to him and Eiji was very confused until registered what had happened. Ibe was standing in front of their toilet but clearly had no intention of using it, just looking across the house at him.

Eiji had forgotten to flush it.

Ibe was just faced with a bowl full of the gross mess and contents of Eiji's stomach that had been festering in their toilet all day. Not a very pretty sight. Eiji sighed and shook his head.

"I'm fine, I think I just needed to get it out of my system," he said quietly, but loud enough that Ibe could hear him in the distance. "I feel much better after sleeping," Shunichi looked unconvinced but slowly nodded, still looking at Eiji with concern. 

"Get some more rest, okay?" Eiji simply nodded, going back to his bed, finishing off his tea, and passing out.

When he woke up again, it was roughly four in the morning and Eiji couldn't help but wonder how long you could be asleep before it was considered a coma. He had fallen asleep with Shorter's hoodie on so the first thing he did after making sure Ibe was asleep, was throwing it into the wash and thanking every god out there that their washing machine was relatively silent. After that, Eiji grabbed some clean clothes, some easy slip-on pajamas, and went to the washroom again. He unceremoniously tossed the clothes onto the floor and grabbed his toothbrush. He brushed his teeth for a very long time, probably way longer than necessary, getting every nook and cranny of his mouth, before rinsing it out with mouthwash three times.

Eiji was desperate to get rid of the awful taste of cum and vomit vaguely washed in tea that he woke up to. Even as the mintiness left his tongue burning and eyes watering, he wasn't successful in his efforts.

Eiji sighed before stripping his clothes off and stepping into the shower, turning on the water, and waiting for the temperature to adjust. He had always hated taking showers that were too hot and burned but at that point, he couldn't tell the difference between the searing water or the burning ache in all of his muscles and, frankly, he didn't care. All he wanted was to be clean and the hotter the water, the better of a job it should do. He grabbed a small hand towel, piled it with liquid body soap, and started intensely washing every single part of his body. He had long since gotten used to the pain he had throughout his entire being so he didn't care that it hurt anymore. He remembered every area where Arthur touched him and every place he didn't and just desperately wished he could just shed his skin and say that he hadn't been touched at all, the flesh suit left laying on the ground was all that was touched and that would hurt less. The scalding hot water mixed with his desperate scrubbing effectively left his skin raw and red by the time he was out of the shower and he almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked like this if the weight of "I still feel unclean" wasn't hanging over his head.

Eiji slipped his new, clean, pajamas on and brought his other clothes back to the laundry room, where Shorter's sweater had finished washing. He swapped out the hoodie for his clothes and turned the washing machine back on before taking the sweatshirt and going back upstairs to his room. Eiji didn't actually know the washing instructions of the sweater, but he never dared to put it into their dry machine in case it burned, melted, and/or shrunk it in any way. He hung it in front of his window and stepped back to look at it before his eyes wandered around the room. It was now around five in the morning so only an hour had passed and the house was back to being painfully quiet.

The shower hose was slowly leaking water and the very quiet hum of the washing machine were the only sounds he could hear and with nothing else, it was painful because all Eiji could do with the silence was think. He didn't dare wake Ibe up just so he wasn't alone or bored, especially since the man had work in a few hours, and he didn't have a working phone that he could mindlessly scroll through. He could go downstairs and watch TV but there often wasn't anything good to watch that early in the morning and that would still risk waking Ibe up.

Eiji didn't want to go back to sleep, and he wasn't even sure he was able to right now, but he layed back down and stared at his ceiling. It was still dark outside so the only light in his room was his alarm clock and the street lights slightly breaking through his curtains. Oh, and the glow in the dark paint that was all around his room.

In normal lighting, the paint was invisible, but at times like these, incredibly quiet late nights or early mornings, where it was still dark and calm before the rush of the day takes over, the paint made his room glow comfortingly. Obviously, it wasn't Eiji's idea to cover his room with paint, just his sister had had an industrial-sized jug of glow in the dark paint she had gotten to use for a project at school but she only ended up using very little so there was a lot of paint leftover. And then he had the smart idea of inviting his friends over while they were all unsupervised. Shorter found the paint in the back of his closet and thought of painting stars on the ceiling. They got about fifteen stars painted before they all ended up doing their own thing. Sing, Kong, and Bones had ended up waiving their paintbrushes at each other in an impromptu fake sword fight, effectively flinging paint everywhere, Yut-Lung stayed as far away as he could manage and painted a surprisingly intricate dragon on the inside of his closet door, and Ash was on Shorter's shoulders writing something on the ceiling that was definitely not stars while Eiji just sat there and watched in mild horror as it all unfolded.

What Ash had written on the ceiling was a lyric of one of Eiji's favourite English songs, _"This Could Be The End Of Everything So Why Don't We Go Somewhere Only We Know"_. Eiji never got an explanation about why Ash had written it, nor why he was so reluctant to explain, but that didn't really bother him. He had a million thoughts about the meaning of the song and those lyrics, both personal meaning and an overall meaning so it was enough. At this moment, all he could think about is finding a place no one could find, curl up and start decaying before being found and restored like broken china. Careful and lovingly taken care of by people he loved when all he could do was hate himself. Eiji looked up at the words, surrounded by stars, with the similar melody humming in the back of his head and he felt, for the first time in over twenty-four hours, alright.


	3. Avoidance Behavior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [References to previous chapters]

The rest of the weekend went by pretty uneventfully. Eiji slept a lot, Ibe went to work, Mika came home, Ibe got home with a new phone battery, and Eiji... didn't put it in his phone. He just left it on his bed stand and avoided looking at it until late Sunday evening when Ibe came to check on him and noticed it sat there, unopened.

"What's the point of me buying you that if you're not even going to use it, hm?" Ibe chuckled, leaning against the door frame with his hands crossed over his chest. "Are you putting off talking to your friends?" He asked, more gentle than his first entry question.

' _He knows me too well_ ' Eiji thought witheringly, pulling his blanket over his head and wrapping it around himself. "I'll see them tomorrow," _They know me too well too_.

"If you aren't feeling up to going, I'm not going to force you to," Ibe said softly, fully entering the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. "Though, you can't blame me if your friends have an aneurism at that point," he joked.

"Then I'd have to talk to you," Eiji mumbled, drawing his covers in closer.

"Hm, that's true, I can't let you skip school without at least a little explanation," Ibe said, as if it were casual. "Is it because of your friends?"

"No," Eiji responded hastily, catching himself and Ibe off guard. The man raised his eyebrows in surprise and invited him to keep talking. "They just... worry too much," 

"Well, obviously," Ibe scoffed, and patted the side of Eiji's thigh, immediately making him tense and if Ibe noticed, he didn't show it. "They're good friends, despite their... questionable morals," he said slowly, clearly referencing their delinquent status. "If you think avoiding them is going to make them less worried, you aren't as smart as I thought you were,"

"I know I just..." Eiji didn't know why he was avoiding them. He just had no idea what to say. What lies he should feed them. If he was able to lie to them about it at all. Ash and Yut-lung were both incredibly perceptive and that didn't even take into consideration Eiji's god-awful acting skills. Shorter, Sing, and probably the entire student body would notice Eiji's sudden behavior change, it was just up to them whether or not they would confront him about it. All of Eiji's friends were very confrontational, usually violently confronting bullies, but confrontational nonetheless. Eiji hated confrontation. He hated all of this.

Ibe sighed and stood up. "If you're going to school, I'm sure your friends will weasel it out of you," that's exactly what Eiji didn't want. "You don't need to tell me, you can go back to sleep," and with that, Eiji was alone again.

When he woke up again, it was half-past four in the morning and he very slowly got out of bed, rummaged through his drawer, and chose his clothes for the day. So slow that it when he checked the clock as he was about to leave and have a shower, it was a quarter past five. He had a nice long shower, a little less aggressive and hot than the previous one, and brushed his teeth, only rinsing with mouthwash twice this time. 

Eiji had seriously considered just wearing pajama pants to school that day since he really didn't want to wear anything tight, but he had found a pair of sweatpants that he didn't even know he owned, so he wore those. Back in his room, it was now quarter past six and he finally, finally, caved, put his new battery into his phone, and placed it on his charger. It was slowly becoming light outside and Eiji didn't really know what to do with himself so he decided to rearrange his school bag, something he would normally do the night before school but he hadn't thought about it until now. Unfortunately, the relatively okay mood that he had fallen content with, was ruined when the first thing he saw inside was the sad tattered remnants of the underwear he had been wearing on Thursday.

Eiji wanted to cry, to scream, to just let it all out but he couldn't. He wouldn't let himself do that. He didn't even understand why he felt the need to keep himself composed aside from the fact that he didn't want to wake anyone up, but he did it anyway. Even when he had finally felt okay enough to leave the house, go to school, see his friends, Eiji's problem still jumped out at him from his school bag. His problem didn't just go away and the longer this went on, the more he just wished that it would. Chalk it up to a learning experience and store it away just so he could later look back on it in disgust.

That wasn't what happened.

Every ache of his body, every glimpse of himself he got off of any reflective surface, every uncomfortable position he layed in, all reminded him of what happened. Eiji couldn't help but feel so stupid for it. He kept telling himself ' _it wasn't even that bad_ ' or ' _it could have been_ _worse_ ' and just overall a basic message of ' _ **you'll get over it**_ '. Except he wasn't getting over it and it was eating him alive. And it was eating him because he knew people, personally, who have had it much worse. His friends never really gone into detail about a lot of their horrible life experiences, but Eiji knew that both Ash and Yut-lung were both victims of sexual assault as well and nearly certain it was much worse than what he had gone through himself. ' _And they're coping just fine_ ' he told himself ' _get over yourself and just go back to normal_ '.

Little did he know that this thought process was very harmful and was going to bite him in the ass later.

For now, though, Eiji just took a pair of no.2 pencils, and used them like chopsticks to pick up the pathetic piece of fabric and elastic that he used to call underwear, and put it into a small wastebasket he had in his room. He made a mental note to burn the entire bin when he got home later that day as he went back to sorting out his bag. Eiji heard Ibe and Mika stirring awake around ten to seven and sighed, getting up, taking Shorter's sweater that was still hanging in his window, and putting it on. He went downstairs with his bag and grabbed a small, prepackaged, thing to eat knowing full well Ibe wasn't going to cook early on a Monday morning and not in a mood to make something himself either. Ibe wandered into the kitchen around five after seven and smiled at Eiji, asking if he wanted tea, which he agreed to. Three minutes later as Ibe busied himself with the kettle, Mika silently came in, making a B-line towards the refrigerator to also grab something to eat, before looking over at Eiji, eyeing him with an odd look.

"How have you managed to look edgy while wearing bright yellow?" Is the first thing she says to him and he has half the mind to laugh at the abrupt start.

"He isn't edgy," Ibe said, chuckling slightly and standing with the kettle and keeping his eye on it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Your right, he's just Eiji," Mika said, nodding. "But that's basically the same thing,"

"Very funny," Eiji said flatly with a roll of his eyes, but he let a small smile grace his face. "It's a comfortable sweatshirt, sue me for wearing it," 

Mika stuck her tongue out at him just as the kettle started whistling and Ibe asked if she wanted tea as well, which she agreed to as well.

Ibe poured out three cups of tea for them, and they all stood around sipping at it in comfortable silence for a while. Ibe finished first.

"Ei-chan, would you like me to drive you to school?" Ibe asked as he placed his cup in the sink. Eiji quickly finished his tea as well and followed the man's action.

He normally walked to school often, unintentionally, running into Sing or Bones and Alex on his way and walking with them. He wasn't in any state to handle that right now.

"Would you?" Eiji asked guiltily. He never got a ride to school since he never had a problem walking, but even that didn't stop his anxieties of confronting his friends before he was ready. 

"Of course, go get your stuff, I need to be at work a little early so I hope you don't mind," Ibe said, making his way over to his work bag he had left on the dining table the night before.

"I already have my stuff," Eiji said with furrowed brows, gesturing to his school bag he left leaning against one of the table legs. 

"You're phone," Ibe said, looking at him as if he expected Eiji to have purposely left it upstairs, which he didn't. Eiji sighs before quickly running upstairs to grab his phone, then back downstairs to grab his bag and meeting Ibe at the door.

"You're just gonna leave me?" Mika asked in faux incredulousness, only half-finished her tea at this point. "Can't I get a ride too?"

"The Middle school is much closer then the high school, you can walk," Ibe scoffed but with a fond smile on his face. "And Eiji has been sick lately, he gets special treatment,"

Mika made an indignant noise and was clearly about to say something else before Eiji interrupted her.

"We're really early anyway, you don't wanna be at school an hour before you need to be,"

The girl glanced at the clock and grumbled about him being right. Ibe laughed at this.

"We're going to leave now, I trust you not to skip school?" He said, slightly unsure and looking for reassurance.

Mika nodded a little too enthusiastically. "Today we're watching a movie in class, I wouldn't miss it!" She chirps, before pulling a movie case out of seemingly nowhere and holding it out to show the two of them. "I'm gonna see if I get the teacher to but on _Nausicaä Valley of the Wind!_ "

The two standing at the door laughed and quickly said their goodbyes to the girl before making their way to the car. Once in his seat, Eiji finally, finally, turns his phone on. He watches it light up and display the Samsung logo, and placed it on his lap as he waited for it to fully boot up. Ibe was just pulling out of the driveway when all the notifications of the past three days start blowing up his phone, so much so Eiji is actually concerned it might actually damage itself. Ibe chuckled as the notifications kept a constant stream of arrival for roughly a minute before finally calming down.

The drive was barely five minutes and they were quiet the entire time up until they arrived at the school. Ibe kept the doors locked as he parked and turned towards Eiji seriously, catching the boy off guard.

"You're gonna talk to your friends, right?" He asked, very intensely despite the slightly childish nature of it.

Eiji blinked a few times, in shock, before nodding slowly. "I will talk to my friends, they are very hard to avoid," At that, Ibe's resolve fell and he chuckled at the statement.

"Good," he said, nodding as he unlocked the car doors. "Vent your heart out, I want you feeling better when I see you again later, okay?"

Eiji very quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and was out of the car before answering, leaning on the top of the car as he ducked down to grab his bag off the floor in front of his seat. "No promises," he said cheekily before closing the door.

Ibe beeped the car horn as he pulled away which left Eiji standing on the sidewalks in front of his school, seven forty-five on a Monday morning, an hour before any sort of bell rang, and desperate to avoid his friends. Obviously, none of his friends came to school an hour before necessary, a lot of them actually came in late most of the time, but that didn't mean Eiji could go to any of their group's usual hang-out spots since they were going to show up eventually. Luckily for him though, unlike his sister's middle school, his high school lets students inside before the bell rings because of some extracurricular activities that took place in the mornings instead of after school like most others. Eiji didn't have any of those activities to do but he should be able to go to their school's library and hide out in there until he needs to go to class, so that's exactly what he does.

The librarian is a nice, shy woman named Jennifer who waved a nice greeting to Eiji as he entered and ducked into the nearest corner, picking up a random book along the way since he still wasn't brave enough to actually look through the mountain of notifications he has on his phone. He was there for barely ten minutes, reading about Greek and Roman mythology from the book he had grabbed, before he heard someone in front of him clear their throat. When Eiji looked up, he nearly gasped in shock at who was standing there, Yut-lung.

' _So much for avoiding my friends_ ' he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know a whole lot about American high school since, you know, I'm not from the US, so like, if theres a bunch of stuff wrong that doesn't happen there. Sucks to suck ig, Idk.


	4. Do To Personal Reasons, I've Decided To Become A Recluse

Yut-lung was actually the last person Eiji expected to see in the morning since he often avoided talking to any of them _(except Alex, who he shares second period with)_ before lunch.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Eiji couldn't help but ask.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," Yut-lung huffed, with hands-on his hips, and narrowed his eyes. "I always come here, to avoid the rest of the gaggle of idiots, I assume you did the same?" He scoffed, sitting down next to Eiji.  
  
He ignored the question, gesturing to the book in his hands. "Did you know that Aphrodite used to be considered a war goddess? It's rumored that was started by the Spartans since that's where she supposedly washed up, which I think is cool and sort of funny since she's pretty much the reason the Trojan war happened-"  
  
"Eiji, I don't care about nor understand anything of what you just said," Yut-lung said bluntly, effectively cutting him off. "People have been texting you, you know,"  
  
Eiji ducks and hides his face guiltily. "My phone wasn't working until this morning," he mumbled.  
  
Yut-lung hummed. "Yet you still haven't looked at anything?" He prodded, sounding more like a statement than a question. Eiji nodded sheepishly.  
  
The Yut-lung looked him up and down, analyzing him. "You're wearing Shorter's sweater," he said after a long moment.  
  
Eiji nodded again, this time quirking a brow and looking at the other boy questioningly. "So?"  
  
"It's the only hoodie you have, you only wear it when there's something wrong or your really cold," Yut said as if he were staying the sky was blue. Obvious. "It's spring and not cold, does this have anything to do with you not being at school on Friday?"  
  
 _'Wow, he is good'_ Eiji thought as he just stared for a few moments. _'I've barely done anything and he's ready to pick me apart'_ He groaned and covered his face with his hands.  
  
"I am just all sorts of exhausted," he mumbled, hoping the other would let it go, at least until they inevitably saw each other later at lunch.  
  
Unfortunately, this isn't what happens because Yut-lung suddenly takes Eiji's hand away from his face and pulled at his sleeve slightly. Eiji was incredibly shocked by this as Yut would usually avoid being touched at all costs, let alone go and grab someone else's hand for no reason himself. Eiji vaguely registered that Yut-lung wasn't looking at his face. _'Why isn't he looking me in my face-?'_ He cut off his own thought as he realized what the other was actually looking at and yanked his arm away.  
  
His wrists were still bruised.  
  
Not nearly as bad as they had been when he first looked at them on Friday, but still noticeable enough that they caught Yut-lung's attention. Eiji's mind was somehow running a mile a minute and not running at all as the two of them stared at each other and he kept his arms drawn into himself. Yut-lung always had a calculating look in his eyes and never let anything get past him, he would always confront a problem if he saw it, and all Eiji could do was silently pray and beg that he would leave it alone. Not say anything. Let him breathe right again. Not care about it and just... let it go.  
  
That wasn't going to happen and they both knew that. This was just a matter of who started talking first.  
  
Unless Eiji managed to get away from this situation, which he didn't see happening without just making it worse for himself. There is no opening to just start booking it running-  
  
"Um- boys?" The two finally break apart from their staring contest to look up at the Librarian, Jennifer, who looked very antsy and uncomfortable, standing roughly ten feet away. _'Why is she so far?'_ was the first thing Eiji thought before thinking _'this could be my chance at escape'_  
  
Neither boy verbally answered her and she shifted nervously in her spot as their intense stares went from each other and onto her. "Is everything alright over here?" She asked tentatively as if she expected something bad to happen.  
  
Eiji saw a chance and took it.  
  
"We're okay!" He said cheerily, standing up. Eiji could feel Yut-lung's cold stare land back onto him but he ignored it and stepped towards the Librarian. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention when I grabbed this book," he said, holding it out of her to look at it. "Could you tell me where to put it back?"  
  
Jennifer looked confused, pointed directly next to her, and stepped aside as Eiji walked up and put the book back. He glanced back at Yut-lung still sitting on the ground and looking at him intensely. They stared at each other again for a few moments before he broke out into a sprint out of the library and down the hall. He heard the loud, shocked exclamation from the Librarian and Yut-lung cursing under his breath as he got up to chase after him but Eiji didn't look back to see.  
  
Eiji rounded a corner, another corner, almost running into multiple people, going upstairs, and into a far-off bathroom that was hardly ever used. He had a head start, ten feet away and standing apart from Yut-lung who had to take at least a second or two to stand, and as good as the other boy was, Eiji was on the track team so he had quite the upper hand. Nobody _(most likely)_ saw him enter the bathroom and he wasn't even sure Yut-lung saw him go upstairs due to their distance but he wanted to be safe so he went into the furthest stall from the door and hid inside. Eiji tried to even out his breathing and calm down and after a few minutes, he finally, finally, took out his phone to look through the texts.

* * *

  
**Shorter👁👅👁💜**  
 _[Active 10 Minutes Ago]_  
  
 ** _THU AT 4:45 PM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: gtg, Nadia needs help downstairs  
  
 **Me** : Okay, I will talk to you later then  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: ttyl baby Eijiiiiiii 💋💖💘💝💕💗💞❤  
  
 ** _[ New Messages ]_**  
  
 ** _FRI AT 8:46 AM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: Yo, ur gonna be late, where R u  
  
 ** _FRI AT 12:12 AM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: EIJIIIIIIIIII  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: you alright? You're not at school, that's freakin weird  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: don't get sick, we don't want you dying on us  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: imma assume you're sleeping  
  
 ** _FRI AT 6:47 PM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: just ran into your dad-ish guy at the mall y'know? Says you looked like shit this morning  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: hope you're okay, I can't imagine what Ash would do if you weren't, he'd probably implode on himself  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: he'll never admit it but he cares about us, especially you  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: you should've seen him today, I used to think he was always tense but today you could shove coals up his ass and get diamonds  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: you probably don't even know what that means, sorry for that visual  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: I'll get out of your hair, feel better  
  
 ** _SAT AT 10:33 AM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: EIJIIIIIIIIIIIII  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: are you alive?  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: do you wanna come out with Ash and Sing and me?  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: if you feel up to it of course  
  
 ** _SAT AT 11:24 AM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: I'll take that as a no  
  
 ** _SAT AT 7:55 PM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: geez dude, you must be in a coma or something if you're not even reading our messages  
  
 ** _SUN AT 12:18 AM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: could you at least talk to someone  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: preferably ash because he's kinda freakin out, not that he'd admit to something like that either  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: if your not at school tomorrow we might actually gang up and parade over to your house to see what's up  
  
 ** _SUN AT 9:53 PM_**  
  
 **Shorter** 👁👅👁💜: you are gonna be coming, right?

* * *

  
  
Eiji felt very guilty after reading that but he didn't really know how to respond, so he just moved on to reading other messages from other people. Yut-lung had only sent two.

* * *

  
  
**Yut-Lung Lee🌙💚°**  
 _[Active Now]_  
  
 _ **THU AT 12:31 AM**_  
  
 **Yut-Lung Lee** 🌙💚: your friends are so annoying  
  
 **Me** : we're sitting at the same table with them  
  
 **Me** : we are barely a meter apart, you could just talk to me  
  
 **Yut-Lung Lee** 🌙💚: so?  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 ** _SAT AT 2:06 PM_**  
  
 **Yut-Lung Lee🌙** 💚: why are people complaining to me when you don't answer them  
  
 ** _SUN AT 6:42 PM_**  
  
 **Yut-Lung Lee🌙** 💚: you aren't worth this effort

* * *

  
  
_What effort was he talking about?_ Eiji tried not to think about it.  
  


* * *

  
**Sing Karaoke King🎤** 💙  
 _[Active 7 hours ago]_  
  
 ** _THU AT 2:52 PM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King🎤** 💙: Miss Charter doesn't even know the class is almost over  
  
 **Me** : don't say anything, if she continues then she can't be mad when we say we didn't learn anything from her today except her brother's baby mama drama  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: LMAO  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 _ **FRI AT 8:30 AM**_  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: no ones seen you, where are you?  
  
 ** _FRI AT 12:23 AM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: you okay?  
  
 ** _FRI AT 2:11 PM_**  
  
 ** _Sing Karaoke King_** 🎤💙: the teacher said Ibe called saying you were sick, hope you're doing alright  
  
 ** _FRI AT 6:54 PM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: idk why Shorter didn't take my word for it when I said you were sick, but we saw Shunichi at the mall earlier who told us the same thing  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: sorry if he's blowing up your phone, thats just who he is  
  
 ** _SAT AT 10:49 AM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: dont feel pressured to come out with us, shorter is a little insensitive sometimes  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: we dont really know HOW sick you are but let's hope you aren't dying  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King🎤** 💙: ash is pretty worried tho, we all care about you man  
  
 ** _SAT AT 8:01 PM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: if you talk to at least one of us, it'll get back to everyone else so don't worry about responding to everyone  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: you should probably talk to ash tho, at the very least  
  
 ** _SUN AT 5:27 PM_**  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King🎤** 💙: you're better be the most well-rested person on the planet when we see you on Monday  
  
 _ **SUN AT 10:09 PM**_  
  
 **Sing Karaoke King** 🎤💙: if you are coming tomorrow, we should walk together

* * *

  
  
Eiji felt very bad the more he read all the messages but felt extremely grateful to Sing for not pressuring him like Shorter _(unintentionally)_ and Yut-lung kind of were. The rest of his messages were very few.  
  


* * *

  
 **Bones** ☠💗:  
 _[Active Yesterday]_  
  
 ** _THU AT 1:18 PM_**  
  
 **Bones** ☠💗: number 15. Burger King foot lettuce  
  
 **Me** : ...what?  
  
 **Bones** ☠💗: the last thing you want in your Burger King burger is somebody's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get  
  
 **Me** : o...kay?  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 ** _SAT AT 3:26 PM_**  
  
 **Bones** ☠💗: you doing alright Eiji?

* * *

  
  
**Kong** 🦍🖤  
 _[Active Yesterday]_  
  
 ** _THU AT 3:13 PM_**  
  
 **Kong** 🦍🖤: I've got your lunch but you left it at the table, I'll wash it for you and bring it tomorrow  
  
 _ **THU AT 4:40 PM**_  
  
 **Me** : oh, okay, thank you very much  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 ** _SAT AT 2:29 PM_**  
  
 **Kong** 🦍🖤: I hope you're doing alright, I'll get your containers to you eventually  
  
 **Kong** 🦍🖤: I also hope no one is nagging you too much, feel better soon

* * *

  
  
**Nadia** 🥘🧡:  
 _[Active 5 Minutes Ago]_  
  
 _ **THU AT 4:41 PM**_  
  
 **Nadia** 🥘🧡: could you get off the phone with Shorter so he comes down and do the freaking dishes like he was supposed to do yesterday  
  
 **Me** : okay  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 ** _MON AT 7:04 AM_**  
  
 **Nadia** 🥘🧡: I'm sending shorter with soup for you whether you're at school or not, I know he'll get it to you  
  
 **Nadia** 🥘🧡: feel better

* * *

  
Eiji thought it felt a little nice knowing people were worried about him and everything but he was really not looking forward to answering actual questions when he saw everyone in person. He was especially not excited about...

* * *

  
❤ **Ashuwu** 💛  
 _[Active 25 Minutes Ago]_  
  
 ** _WED AT 12:06 AM_**  
  
❤ **Ashuwu** 💛: we're sitting behind the bleachers today  
  
 **Me** : alright, I'll be there  
  
 ** _[New Messages]_**  
  
 ** _SUN AT 1:42 PM_**  
  
❤ **Ashuwu** 💛: I hope you're feeling okay

* * *

Ash and Eiji rarely ever texted together, all of their talking happened in person, that's how Ash liked it and Eiji was happy to accommodate him. Most of their texts were saying when and where to meet and Eiji hardly ever texted him first. He knew how much Ash hated texting people, how much will power it took for him to hit send, Eiji was there when it took nearly two hours for the other to write a simple apology text to his foster dad, Max, saying _"sorry, I didn't mean to blow up like that"_ before immediately throwing his phone across the room after sending it. Thankfully it didn't break. Eiji didn't doubt Ash had done that again just for a simple _"get well soon"_ message. Spending an agonizingly long time figuring out the right words to say before it being sent and then promptly flinging it as far away from himself as he could.  
  
Eiji thought about responding but didn't get the chance as he nearly jumped out of his skin when the warning bell went off. He checked the time and lo and behold it was eight forty-five already and he had five minutes to get to class. ' _Time is really flying by this morning, that didn't feel very long at all'_ he sighed, getting out of the stall and washing his hands out of habit, despite not actually using the restroom for its intended purpose.  
  
When Eiji left the washroom fully, the halls were now full of people and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He wasn't breathing easily. He wasn't going to be able to make it through the hallway without being jostled around by the larger student populist and he really didn't want to be touched anymore. Yut-lung had caught him off guard and he was more confused than anything else when he had been grabbed, but this was different. This was a bunch of strangers surrounding him, bumping into him, touching him with reckless abandon, and probably not even realizing it.  
  
Eiji felt like if he were to ever end up drowning, this is what it felt like.  
  
Drowning, suffocating, it didn't matter he just couldn't breathe. It felt so irrational and stupid and he didn't think it was necessary but he couldn't stop it. It was his problem and he felt so out of place. Nothing had changed, this was a typical Monday morning, everything was the same but it felt so different because Eiji himself felt so different. He felt so wrong.  
  
"Eiji!" He tensed at the sound of his name. He couldn't tell who said it but he didn't want to not acknowledge them so he looked up to see who it was. "Let's walk to class together," he nearly cried out in relief.  
  
It was Kong. Kong was the biggest, tallest, teen Eiji had ever seen in his life yet so incredibly gentle that Eiji was surprised he was even considered a delinquent. It was probably his appearance. Kong was very respectful and was one of the only people within their friend group that wouldn't touch you without warning. He had never been more thankful for that than in that moment.  
  
Eiji silently nodded and Kong smoothly led him to their first-period class that they shared. Kong was huge so the wave of students moved out of his way as he walked, leaving a pocket of no people Eiji could comfortably be in without worry. The two of them entered their class just as their second bell rang, Eiji bowed slightly while thanking Kong and quickly making his way to his seat.  
  
As he sat there, not really paying attention to the teacher's lesson, he realized that as he was avoiding touching all the other students in the hall earlier, he was practically hanging onto Kong for dear life without feeling uncomfortable. _'Huh'_ Eiji thought. _'I wonder if it's just strangers I don't want touching me, Arthur is- was pretty much a stranger-'_  
  
He was snapped out of his head when the teacher called in him and he decided he should start paying attention.


	5. Haphephobia Just Means Touch-Starved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a majority of this chapter while high off my ass so I am well aware that it's not very good but I'm also too lazy to actually edit it properly so I'm just posting it anyway, sorry lol

Eiji spent the rest of his first and second-period classes zoning in and out of focus and he could tell his teachers were annoyed/slightly worried about him but they didn't say anything. _'I wonder why they hadn't done something'_ he thought as he slowly packed up his things after the ring of the bell signaling it was now their lunch period. He was one of the last people in the room next to Bones, who was groggily getting up after falling asleep in class, and a girl named Alice who was frantically writing on a piece of paper. Just as he was about to leave, he was stopped.  
  
"Eiji, could you stay behind a moment please?" His teacher called out, a man who everyone referred to as Blanca so often to the point he didn't actually know his actual name, right as he was just barely out the door. Eiji sighed heavily before making his way back into the room and over to his teacher's desk. The man opened his mouth to say something else but something caught his eye behind Eiji so he addressed that instead.  
  
"You can go now, Miles, this won't be long," Blanca said. Eiji turned around to see Bones waiting at the door looking at them with half-lidded eyes, still very groggy, Alice had already left. He shrugged wordlessly, yawning, turned to leave, closed the door behind him, and leaving the two of them alone. _'His real name is Miles?'_ Eiji thought curiously but wasn't able to explore it as his attention was drawn back to his teacher when he cleared his throat.  
  
"Have you talked to your guidance counselor, Eiji?" A blunt start.  
  
"No? Is there something I need to go to her for?" Eiji asked, raising a brow in question. Blanca was staring at him very intensely and the situation they were in now reminded him painfully of the confrontation he had with Yut-lung earlier in the library. _'I wonder who would win a staring contest between the two of them'_  
  
Expect this was very different.  
  
Blanca was a tall, physically superior man in an empty classroom with him where Yut-lung was at equal odds with Eiji in a public library. He also wasn't as well acquainted with Blanca so he probably wouldn't let the man as physically close to him as he did with Yut.  
  
"There is something obviously wrong," his teacher said seriously, looking him up and down but not in a weird way, more of a way of saying _'look at yourself and tell me that I'm wrong'_ Eiji didn't even think about looking at himself again, he was tired of looking at himself.   
  
"What about me makes me look unwell?" Eiji bit out, surprising both himself and his teacher, but he couldn't stop more from spilling out. "What does me dressing different have to do with anything?"  
  
Blanca blinked a few times in surprise before his face melted back into an almost unreadable, obviously calculating look with some hint of kindness behind his eyes, but he didn't smile. "It isn't your outfit, Eiji," he said, surprisingly soft, and this time Eiji did look at himself.   
  
He was shaking. He looked at his hands and finally felt himself trembling. _'Why am I shaking?'_ He thought, blinking in surprise. Blanca continued.  
  
"You know the school has resources to help you, right?" He asked, Eiji nodded silently, not able to look away from his hand as he felt the tremors in his body. "Do you need help?"  
  
Eiji's gaze snapped up to meet his teacher's. "No," he said, a little too quickly. "I'm fine," he added after a moment.  
  
The man quirked a brow. "Are you?" He asked, almost challenging him.  
  
"Yes," Blanca obviously didn't buy it. "I am... working on it..."  
  
"And is that actually working for you?" Eiji suddenly felt something flair in his chest. _'Why am I angry right now?'_  
  
"I didn't say I was good at it," he spits out, surprising his teacher a second time, this time turning on his heel and stomping out, but not before a final. "And I don't need your help!"  
  
Time felt speed up today and there were hardly any people in the hallway, meaning he was less likely to bump into anyone, thankfully. He went to the cafeteria to see if his friends were sitting at their regular table. They weren't. He went up to the roof to see if they were there. They weren't. It wasn't until he went to check out the bleachers, where they occasionally sat, that he found them.  
  
Shorter spotted him before he even thought about making himself known to the group.  
  
"THERE'S OUR BOY!" He shouted excitedly, jumping up and waving frantically at him as if Eiji could miss him and his bright purple hair. He felt a small smile tug at his face, but it didn't stay.  
  
He quickened his pace slightly as everyone turned their attention to him. Eiji's eyes first landed on Yut-lung who was very clearly glaring at him, they made eye contact for a long second before Eiji had to break from it and fell onto Ash. He always had a difficult-to-read expression on his face and he always tried to keep it neutral, but Eiji could tell Ash had hints of relief in his eyes, it made him feel warm inside. His eyes were drawn back to Yut-lung, along with everyone else's, as he stood up and jumped down a step, closer to Eiji as he arrived at the base of the bleachers and he looked up at him. The two of them stared at each other, tension you could cut with a knife, and everyone else in the group looked between them in concern and/or confusion. Until Yut-lung suddenly, and unnecessarily forcefully, pointed at Eiji, narrowing his eyes even more than before.  
  
"Take it off," he ordered and the rest of them suddenly popped like a water balloon at the outrageous demand.  
  
"WOAH-KAY, _NO_ ," Shorter burst out immediately, throwing his arms out to stop them. Ash and Sing both simultaneously smacked Yut-lung in each of his shoulders.  
  
"What the hell, man!"  
  
"You can't just tell people to _strip!_ "  
  
Bones and Alex started cackling and Bones wolf-whistled at them. "Give us a show, Eiji!" He yelled before falling into an even bigger bout of laughter, heavily leaning on Kong so he didn't fall over.  
  
Eiji hugged the sweater closer to himself and Yut-lung didn't take his eyes off him, not even after being smacked. He then calmly makes his way down to Eiji's level and grabs onto his wrist again, this time much harder then before and this time successfully making Eiji uncomfortable. The tension was back and the light-hearted air that had bubbled up for a moment was crushed under a boot.   
  
"Fine," Yut-lung spat in his face, practically snarling. "Don't show us, just tell us, what the fuck is this," he said, angry yet surprisingly calm, and shaking Eiji's arm for emphasis.  
  
Eiji frantically looked around at everyone else there and could tell they all wanted to intervene, especially Ash, but they didn't know what was happening. They didn't know what Yut was talking about and their curiosity made them pause. Eiji's attention was drawn back to the boy in front of him by him tightening his grip on Eiji's wrist.  
  
"Go on, there's no out of it now," Yut-lung said. "You're a shit actor so don't even try,"  
  
And as much as Eiji had been thinking lately, and he's been thinking an awful lot, this next part happened with little to no preparation, before he even realized it. Eiji had kicked Yut-lung, **_hard_** , in his shin causing him to jerk back and fall over. There was an audible gasp and everyone just stared at the boy on the ground before slowly looking at Eiji frozen in his spot.  
  
 _'Why am I so angry?'_ He asked himself again. Nothing about this situation had made him feel angry. He had felt hurt, disgust, confusion, sadness, oddly complacent, but not angry. There want really anything to be angry about. But it was bursting out of him before he even had the chance to stop himself and he didn't know why. It just made him more confused and emotional. He hated this.  
  
Eiji zoned back in and looked at everyone. Yut-lung was back to glaring at him, just from the ground this time and mixed with an understandable about of shock. Kong, Bones, and Alex all had equal looks of being impressed and also very shocked. Shorter was smiling as if he were proud and Sing had his mouth half open and blinking rapidly, both stunned. Ash had the least obvious expression, he always did, but Eiji could tell he was also surprised and looking at him as if just staring at Eiji would give him all the answers.  
  
Eiji didn't want to stay and find out if that would work.  
  
Again, with little to no thought going through his head, he turns and runs the other way. Again. He heard Yut-lung yell foreign curses at him and the rest of his friends tripping over themselves to get up and chase after him but he didn't look back. Again. It was much easier to gain speed and distance without having to maneuver through school hallways but that didn't mean the school grounds weren't littered with various students hanging around, who he nearly ran into quite a few of them. Again. He made his way back to the main building but didn't go inside, deciding to find his way around the perimeter. He rounded a corner and another one. Again. But there was one big difference this time.  
  
As Eiji ran around the second corner, he ran into someone. He bowed his head slightly and quickly apologized, before glancing up at the person and feeling all the air leave his lungs. It was Ash. _'When- how did he get ahead of me?'_ Eiji frantically looked around for an escape, impossibly tense, and was on the verge of panic when he saw the other raise his arms. He had expected Ash to grab him, make sure he didn't run, confront him on what all of this was about.  
  
He didn't.  
  
Ash simply put his hands out in front of them cautiously, as if he were showing that he was unarmed. He looked so honestly concerned that Eiji wanted to cry. He wasn't there to figure out why Eiji ran. He wasn't there to stop him from running. He wasn't there because he felt obligated to. Ash was there purely out of concern.   
  
Eiji didn't know if it was possible to love this boy more than he did at that moment. Maybe he could.  
  
"Eiji," Ash said gently, still not making a move to touch or incapacitate him, Eiji's dam of bottled emotions almost broke right then but he held on a little longer. "It's just me" Eiji nodded, looking at the ground and Ash's red high tops, not trusting himself to speak.   
  
Ash flipped one of his hands over and slowly pushed it toward the other, encouraging him to take it. Eiji didn't think he would be able to stop himself from reaching out even if didn't want to.   
  
But he did.  
  
He wanted so much to just hold onto something, someone, and not feel like he was going to drown in his own self-hatred. Ash was there with his hand outstretched and Eiji took it. He had expected himself to feel at least slightly uncomfortable with the touch, but he really didn't. For a second, he didn't even remember what uncomfortable felt like because Ash was just there holding onto him in the smallest way. It felt so much bigger and so right that he wondered if that night with Arthur was just something that happened in his head. How could something like that happen when there was something so great right in front of him?  
  
"Hey," Ash said gently, raising his other hand to Eiji's face, but hesitating, not wanting to overstep. That didn't matter because Eiji immediately leaned into his hand and relished in Ash's surprisingly soft hand cupping his face, wiping a tear away. _'When did I start crying?'_ "Eiji, are you alright?"  
  
He almost laughed. He almost said _'no, how could I be alright?'_ He almost said _'yes, how could I not with you right here?'_ He almost started fully sobbing then. He almost pulled Ash in closer, to find out what a hug felt like now, and break down. He most wanted to talk about it. Spill his guts about everything his mind was thinking and how it was eating him up inside. How much Arthur's assault affected him way more than he ever thought it could. How much the fear of being weak was smacking him upside the back of the head every time he thought about the terrible things his friends must have gone through and how he couldn't live up to their maturity. How he felt wrong in his own skin now and how he wishes he could just get rid of it as easy as it was to burn a wastebasket with dirty underwear inside would be. Instead, he just shrugged.  
  
"I'm working on it," he said quietly, almost a whisper, and his voice cracking painfully.  
  
"Running seems to be doing you wonders," Ash responded humorously but without cracking a smile or laughing. It did almost get a chuckle out of Eiji because no, it really wasn't working out for him, was it?  
  
"I'll get over it," he whimpered, closing his eyes as an abrupt wave of nausea hit him. "You're dealing with it just fine,"  
  
The hands holding him suddenly became tense and Eiji opened his eyes to look at Ash curiously. His jaw was clenched tightly and he had a different look in his eyes now, something Eiji didn't understand this time.  
  
"Eiji..." Ash said seriously. "Is that what that was?"   
  
"Huh?" Eiji blinked in surprise.  
  
"You're avoiding whatever your issue is," Ash stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Is it because you think you need to just get over it?"  
  
Eiji didn't respond, he just looked away, but that was response enough. Ash got closer to Eiji's face, still holding onto him so gently but with purpose, meaning. He felt like he couldn't breathe again, but this time was different. Eiji didn't know what was different but it wasn't like he wasn't suffocating this time, he was starting to think it was impossible to feel anything wrong while around Ash.  
  
"Eiji, healing takes time," Ash pressed earnestly. "I don't know what happened but you aren't going to just get over it in three fucking days," Eiji blinked a few times in surprise again, he felt like the words should have had more bite to them but they also sounded right just as they were. _'How can someone be this perfect all the time?'_  
  
"I'm still not okay, and I probably never will be okay, so you're allowed to feel this shit," Ash continued, unintentionally squeezing Eiji's hand harder but he didn't mind. "What works for me, won't work for you and it might even tear you up," he stared intently into Eiji's soul and his eyes sent shivers down his spine. "Don't tear yourself apart, Eiji,"  
  
They were in a compromising position, Eiji was at a clear disadvantage if he wanted to get away and Ash could have easily taken from him just like Arthur had, his brain was painfully aware of that. It was screaming at him to get away but another part of him trusted Ash with his life and knew that that would never happen. There was something that Eiji often spent hours just laying motionlessly in bed thinking about and it was things like this that sparked the question. _'Am I in love with Ash or have I just never been cared about in this way before?'_ At this moment, it didn't even feel like a question because it was obvious to him. Eiji loved Ash so much that not even with his brain screaming at him, just as it had been for days, could break them apart. No matter how gross he felt in his own skin, holding onto Ash at that moment couldn't have been more right. Eiji didn't know what he would do if he lost what they had and, frankly, he wasn't ready to find out. Ash was there, for him, holding on and holding him up. Away from anything that could hurt him, he felt so safe.  
  
The dam finally broke.  
  
Tears might have already been falling down his face before but he hadn't really started crying until right then. He threw himself at Ash, tightly wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into the crook of his neck. Ash immediately reciprocated the hug and wound his arms around him and it felt so good. Eiji didn't realize how much touch meant to him until he was afraid of it. He always hugged his sister when either of them got home, Ibe would always gently pat him all the time whether they were making dinner together or just sitting and watching the TV. Shorter and Bones were always hanging off him, patting him on the back, grabbing onto his shoulders, and general playfully energetic jabs. Sing and Alex weren't nearly as touchy-feely but they were always ones to go in for a high five or a fist/shoulder bump. Kong and Yut-lung rarely ever touched him on purpose but they would still stick closer to him, accidentally touches were still a big part of his every day. Ash had his own aversion to touch but he still was up for little things and when they were alone, he and Eiji would lean on each other and talk for hours, basking in each other's presence.  
  
Eiji missed that.  
  
He had spent three days alone and free of any touch or even much human interaction at all except for the few times he talked to Ibe and his sister. This embrace from Ash meant everything because it was something he had been so scared of, something he was dreading, but something he needed so badly. His feelings for Ash didn't matter at this moment, they just strengthened how much the hug meant to him. The last time he was held, he was being held down and being destroyed. This was different and so, so beautiful. What could be better than this? His heart felt like it was about to explode as he simply just sobbed into Ash's shoulder.  
  
He needed this.  
  
"It hurts," Eiji choked out and Ash ran a soothing hand through his hair and down his back and, oh boy, was it so close to _working_. Eiji almost felt better but too much raw emotion was being released between them that it was nearly impossible to actually feel alright.  
  
"I know," Ash said softly, nodding ever so slightly, just enough for Eiji to feel it.  
  
"I don't want to hurt anymore," he cried, burying his face deeper into the other's neck desperately.  
  
Ash tightened his grip on Eiji and pulled him impossibly closer, he inhaled a shaky breath before nodding again. "Yeah, I know..."  
  
That's how the others found them, trapped in each other's arms, both unwilling to let go and very emotional, in their own ways. None of them asked any questions, not even Yut-lung thanks to Sing skillfully being wrapped around the boy like a koala while covering his mouth, and they walked Ash and Eiji to the principal's office in hopes of getting them excused for the rest of the day which wouldn't be hard judging by the fact Ash's stepdad was their principal.  
  
Eiji wonders if it would have mattered whether or not he even went to school that day since he knew his friends would have come over to his house at the end of the day regardless. He didn't have anywhere to run in his house so they would have gotten a similar result if he had just toughed it out and told Ibe why he didn't want to go to school. Eiji doesn't regret it though, leaning heavily on Ash's shoulder as they sat waiting outside of Max's office felt way better than anything else that might have happened otherwise. It was like ripping a bandaid off. Except there were five other bandaids that needed to be ripped off too and each one is harder to remove than the last. He'll get there in the end. _Hopefully_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bones' name obviously isn't actually Miles but i couldn't imagine a teacher seriously calling their student by a name like "Bones" so uhhh, ye


End file.
